38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
