farters have to be the big spoon...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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