i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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