that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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