Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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