? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
