he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
