I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
