Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
