i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
