I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize