i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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