I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
