The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
