guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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