Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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