I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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