The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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