I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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