I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
