Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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