Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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