my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
