I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
accomplished twins. life is a go
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize