i want to swaddle you in tequila
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
