I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have fence marks all over my body
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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