that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
