If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
