On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
