Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
