I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
