My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
