the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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