I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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