so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
