overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
