I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
