Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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