The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
