Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
