I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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