Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
