the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize