I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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