I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My room smells like vodka and shame
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize