dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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