i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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