Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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