How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
