i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
