I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
