so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
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getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
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Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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