Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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