If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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