so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
