Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
