Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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