So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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