Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
