ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
