I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
cat food counts as protein by the way
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
