I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
