Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
